The Clark Kegley Podcast

February 2017
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Tue, 14 February 2017

Dale Carnegie on How to Win Friends and Influence People | 10 Best Ideas Book Summary (PART II)

11 Questions That May Change Your Life: http://www.clarkkegley.com/download/

The Most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They’ve read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

Today we have PART II of the book summary and book review on "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.This book will rock your communication. Dale Carnegie's classic public speaking and interpersonal communication book, how to win friends and influence people is packed full of actionable ideas and takeaways. You might also consider getting the full book for this – it’s killer!

Here are the best 10 ideas from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (PART II)

FULL BLOG POST: (coming soon)
GET THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/29XwSTc

★★★ BEST 10 IDEAS ★★★

1. Don’t Criticize Condemn or Complain
Puts everyone on defensive. Some people grow through praise, others through criticism.

2. Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want
There are 3 motivations: First two are push / pull. Think of carrot or stick. Avoid pain or go towards pleasure. Third is above both those. Higher motivation. Third is your why - often gets overlooked. Driving force behind everything we do. For ourselves need a why that makes you cry (read Start With Why).

3. Smile
Shows people two things: 1. You are happy (as if having good time) 2. Friendly (oddly enough in animal kingdom means threat, but hey - humans are weird)

GET THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/29XwSTc

4. Be a Good Listener. Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves.
EX: My mom, “making friends is easy. you just smile and ask questions about the other person.” Everyone has that ONE area they can get wound up on and just GO. Lights them up. EX: My grandma quiet farm woman, get her ranting about conspiracy theories and you’re there all day. TIP: Become an expert at finding that secret passion everyone has. Ask questions!

5. Make The Other Person Feel Important - and Do It Sincerely
EX: Jim Kwik my friend. Bill Clinton - amount of presence he brings shocking. and he’s highest ever can get in world! Still does this!
EX: Say, “your right, NAME” or “You’re so right about that, NAME” or “You hit it on the head when you said ____”

GET THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/29XwSTc

6. The Only Way to Get The Best of An Argument is to:
A) Avoid it!
B) Show Respect For the Other Person’s Opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
C) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (sincere apology)
D) Begin in a friendly way.

7. Be Sympathetic With The Other Person’s Ideas and Desires.
"Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.” - Dale Carnegie

8. Begin With Praise and Honest Appreciation.
Massage people into conversations. Ease into something 9/10 works better. Foreplay before you get to the meat. Even if most of us define as “no b.s / straight shooter / no beat around bush small talk” person - different when it’s personal! Harder to do. Compliment sandwich. Praise - criticism - praise.

9. Call Attention to People’s Mistakes Indirectly.
How do you give negative feedback without sounding like a jerk? or asshole? EX: Swap “BUT” for “AND” EX: “We’re really proud of you, Justin, for getting better grades this quarter. But if you worked harder in your math class, you would’ve done better.” vs. “We’re really proud of you, Justin, for getting better grades this quarter, and if you continue to work just as hard next quarter, your math grade could be as high as all the others.”

10. Praise The Slightest Improvement and Praise Every Improvement.

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