Refusing to Settle

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How to Get Over Your Ex | 3 Pieces of Breakup Advice In this video, we're talking about how to get over your ex and why it’s so dang hard in the first place… Give you the summary of the question: "A Bit of a different topic but I’m in the middle of a breakup (long story) and having a hard time getting over them. Any advice on how to get over a relationship, ex, breakup, etc?" Look relationships have our biggest pleasure AND biggest pain. On TOP of the world when they’re going great. Gates of hell broke open when it’s bad. SO many of our needs are there right? Need for significance, certainty, connection, love, security, etc. Let’s talk about how to get OUT of one. How to move on from ex. How to deal with ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends in the past. Hopefully, this helps reframe things for you slightly. I like to think about this: There are THREE uses of your past.

1. DON’t: regret it i.e. talking to a friend once about HOW MUCH TIME HE WASTED on this girl. He started going on and on about what a waste, opportunity costs, ditching friends, traveling in Peru, etc. Don’t do this. The ONLY regret is that you stayed in it too long. Some people we grow up with, others we grow out of. POINT of relationship is to GROW more TOGETHER than you could alone. It’s OKAY to grow out of them. Doesn’t mean it’s easy, just means it’s okay.

2. DON’T: romanticize it ONLY think about good times — like some rom com or Episode of Bachelor where they picnic on top of a volcano in New Zealand…. Don’t forget about the hair around the sink. Don’t forget about the psychotic break out fights throwing dishes. Don’t forget how they put you down in past for dreams and aspirations. Make a list: ALL The reasons it’s a GOOD thing you’re not together anymore. i.e. Hardest time getting over ex-someone I barely dated, and it was back in high school. Got cut short 4 months. REASON it was SO hard was because this was BEFORE honeymoon phase ended! Couldn’t get to the “Real stuff” so it was ALL blissful. Not true.

3. DO: use it What did this person teach me about love? What did this person teach me about myself? What did this person teach me about what I want in a partner? What did this person teach me about what I DON’T want in a partner? How did I grow with this person? DON’T — LOSS, LESS, NEVER i.e. let’s hypothetically say you had a terrible ex, manipulative, etc — NOW you know exactly what to look for (avoid) in a future partner. MAYBE that ex saved you from marrying some psycho. OR saved you from dating crazier chick!

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Direct download: How_to_Get_Over_Your_Ex_3_Pieces_of_Breakup_Advice.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm PDT