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The Most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They’ve read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
Today’s book summary and book review: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
This book will rock your communication. Dale Carnegie's classic public speaking and interpersonal communication book, how to win friends and influence people is packed full of actionable ideas and take aways. You might also consider getting the full book for this – it’s killer!
Here are the best 10 ideas from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
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BIG 10 IDEAS
(1:30) 1. Become Genuinely Interested In Other People
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie
(2:45) 2. Let The Other Person Feel That The Idea is His or Hers.
It's amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit for it.
(4:30) 3. Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing The Other Person.
Call Attention to People’s Mistakes Indirectly.
How do you give negative feedback without sounding like a jerk? or asshole?
TIP: Swap “BUT” for “AND”
(6:50) 4. Dramatize Your Ideas.
Break the script.
Implant and anchor a reference can’t get out of head.
EXAMPLE: Jamie Oliver’s TED Talk with sugar wheelbarrow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go_QO...
(8:45) 5. Talk in Terms of The Other Person’s Interests.
Best point if you’re in sales / leadership / wok to influence people.
WIIFM = most powerful tool I’ve used. (how I start these videos).
(10:20) 6. Get The Other Person Saying “Yes, Yes” Immediately.
EX: Psychology - we’re more likely to say yes to bigger task if said yes to smaller one first.
(12:45) 7. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
Flattery is of the tongue, appreciation is of the heart.
TIP: Honest and sincere doesn't mean BIG and massive. Simple, “Hey, you’re a really solid speaker. Room lit up when you said that joke about the museum” or “I really love how authentic you are when speaking to others.”
(14:20) 8. Give the Other Person a Fine Reputation to Live Up to.
EXAMPLE: working with kids: “(NAME) you’re a leader. The other kids see you as one” - Conform to that identity.
(16:00) 9. IDENTITY The Power of “I AM”.
Two most Powerful words in english language? “I AM”
NEG FRAME -
Ex: I AM too old / young
Ex: I AM too fat / skinny
Ex: I AM a woman / man
Ex: I AM a depressed person
Ex: I AM too broke
Ex: I AM not educated enough
Ex: I AM not in the right location
POS FRAME +
Ex: I AM able to accomplish anything I put my mind to
Ex: I AM someone who overflows with positivity to others.
Ex: I AM not the kind of person who chews tobacco (big one for me)
Ex: I AM someone who provides massive value and deserves to be compensated fairly.
Ex: I AM someone who gives their all in a relationship at all times
(17:40) 10. SAY MY NAME!
“Remember a person’s name is the sweetest sound”
Names carry (AGE) years of meaning.
Identity acknowledgement
EX: Even dogs know their names!
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