Refusing to Settle

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The Most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They’ve read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

Today’s book summary and book review: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

This book will rock your communication. Dale Carnegie's classic public speaking and interpersonal communication book, how to win friends and influence people is packed full of actionable ideas and take aways. You might also consider getting the full book for this – it’s killer!

Here are the best 10 ideas from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.

FULL BLOG POST: (coming soon)
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BIG 10 IDEAS 

(1:30) 1. Become Genuinely Interested In Other People
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie

(2:45) 2. Let The Other Person Feel That The Idea is His or Hers.
It's amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit for it.

(4:30) 3. Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing The Other Person.
Call Attention to People’s Mistakes Indirectly.
How do you give negative feedback without sounding like a jerk? or asshole?
TIP: Swap “BUT” for “AND”

(6:50) 4. Dramatize Your Ideas.
Break the script.
Implant and anchor a reference can’t get out of head.
EXAMPLE: Jamie Oliver’s TED Talk with sugar wheelbarrow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go_QO...

(8:45) 5. Talk in Terms of The Other Person’s Interests.
Best point if you’re in sales / leadership / wok to influence people.
WIIFM = most powerful tool I’ve used. (how I start these videos).

(10:20) 6. Get The Other Person Saying “Yes, Yes” Immediately.
EX: Psychology - we’re more likely to say yes to bigger task if said yes to smaller one first.

(12:45) 7. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
Flattery is of the tongue, appreciation is of the heart.
TIP: Honest and sincere doesn't mean BIG and massive. Simple, “Hey, you’re a really solid speaker. Room lit up when you said that joke about the museum” or “I really love how authentic you are when speaking to others.”

(14:20) 8. Give the Other Person a Fine Reputation to Live Up to.
EXAMPLE: working with kids: “(NAME) you’re a leader. The other kids see you as one” - Conform to that identity.

(16:00) 9. IDENTITY The Power of “I AM”.
Two most Powerful words in english language? “I AM”

NEG FRAME -
Ex: I AM too old / young
Ex: I AM too fat / skinny
Ex: I AM a woman / man
Ex: I AM a depressed person
Ex: I AM too broke
Ex: I AM not educated enough
Ex: I AM not in the right location
POS FRAME +
Ex: I AM able to accomplish anything I put my mind to
Ex: I AM someone who overflows with positivity to others.
Ex: I AM not the kind of person who chews tobacco (big one for me)
Ex: I AM someone who provides massive value and deserves to be compensated fairly.
Ex: I AM someone who gives their all in a relationship at all times

(17:40) 10. SAY MY NAME!
“Remember a person’s name is the sweetest sound”
Names carry (AGE) years of meaning.
Identity acknowledgement
EX: Even dogs know their names!

(19:50) YOUR FREE TOOLS!
Your free tools: http://www.clarkdanger.com/download/

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L I N K S & S U P P O R T 

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Please feel free to email me for any time for any reason: clark@clarkdanger.com
______________________________________
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11 Questions That May Change Your Life: http://www.clarkdanger.com/download/

What’s the one book that will have the biggest impact on your relationships? The 5 Love Languages!

Today’s book summary and book review: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
This book will rock your relationships. If you read only one book that will have biggest impact on your relationships, it’s this one! Gary Chapman’s amazing relationship book that has influenced millions of couples worldwide for decades. You might also consider getting the full book for this – it’s killer!

Special note: This book is not just for intimate relationships. The book works great for every relationship you have (co-workers / family / strangers / sales / etc).

Here are the best 10 ideas from “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

GET THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/296REnG

Discover how you can change your life in less than 4-hours. FULL journal mastery course is now live! Learn more here: http://www.mybestjournal.com
★★★ BIG 10 IDEAS ★★★

(2:15) EMOTIONAL LOVE TANK
Metaphor like our car has a gas tank, our love life has a love tank.
keep this tank full. If we neglect our love tank, we’ll start to get bigger problems.
we need love… stats show we’re not too good at it:
40% of marriages in USA divorce
60% of second
75% of third
What’s happening? Where do we go wrong?

(3:45) DON’T BE IN LOVE
Falling in love is the opposite of what we should strive for. That honeymoon style / chick flick / notebook rain make out scene.
Dr. M Scott Peck: falling in love is NOT love for three reasons:
1. Not act of will or conscious choice (fall in love with people not compatible with)
2. Effortless. Real love requires work.
3. Not centered on growth of other. Gives us false sense we have arrived / at the peak

(8:00) LANGUAGES OF LOVE (LEARN THEM)
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Gifts
Acts of Service
In order for the other person to feel loved, we must understand and speak their love language to them. Otherwise we might as well be speaking in Chinese when they understand English.

(10:00) QUALITY TIME
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Most “typical” love language.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Intentional date night - schedule it in!
Avoid routines. Relationship killer.
Table topics: http://amzn.to/28LAlse

(12:45) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
This love languages uses words to affirm other people. Not just words - but deeper reasons behind them. Give them the “WHY” “I love you” vs. “I love you because…..” or “Great job with that project” vs. “Great job with that project - you put a lot of time in it shows”
HOW TO & TIPS:
Focus on giving one killer compliment x a day.
Compliment in presence of peers / brag about them in front of people.
No longer “Thank you” it’s “Thank you for….”

(15:15) GIFTS
Not materialistic. Not diamonds everyday. Gifts can be cards, can be flower, can be favorite soda from Trader Joes.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Remember important dates.
Focus on thoughtful ness behind gift.
Keep log in your phone if she mentions something she likes - order it in bulk one day, disperse over time.

(18:00) ACTS OF SERVICE
For these people, actions speak louder than words. My dad: Would do my laundry and clean my room. Wash my car. This was his love language.
HOW TO & TIPS:
Don’t be lazy - pisses this person off like no other.
Cook them dinner. Do their Laundry. Make the bed. Clean their space / room / desk / etc.
Volunteer to help out more.

(19:30) PHYSICAL TOUCH
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch (not bedroom only).
Hand holding / hugs / PDA / etc.

(22:00) FIND YOURS
TEST ONLINE: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
TEST IN BOOK: http://amzn.to/28O7uCw

(22:45) CHOOSE LOVE
Unpopular truth is that love requires work. Unglamorous side of things. Toilets don’t get flushed - hair in sink. Get realistic with it - kill fantasies. Not a finish line - real work starts after honeymoon.

(24:00) YOUR FREE TOOLS!
Your free tools: http://www.clarkdanger.com/download/

______________________________________

★★★ L I N K S & S U P P O R T ★★★

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MASTER JOURNALING: http://www.mybestjournal.com

Please feel free to email me for any time for any reason: clark@clarkdanger.com
______________________________________
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Direct download: 10_Best_Ideas__The_5_Love_Languages__Gary_D._Chapman__Book_Summary.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00pm PDT

11 Questions That May Change Your Life: http://www.clarkdanger.com/download/

Where does happiness come from? This week going over best 10 ideas on: The Happiness Hypothesis. Today’s book summary and book review: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom. A great read on the positive psychology movement and studying where happiness comes from. You might also consider getting the full audiobook for this!

GET THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/1Xl4jVL

Discover how you can change your life in less than 4-hours. FULL journal mastery course is now live! Learn more here: http://www.mybestjournal.com

BIG 10 IDEAS 

(1:15) ELEPHANT AND RIDER
Lots of divisions in past have been made: BODY vs. MIND / Right brain vs. Left brain / Superego id and super Id / etc
Internal conflicts + sometimes want different things. Body mind need to work together.
EX: Want monogamy - body attracted to different people
EX: Want health but body craves sugar / salt / fat
EX: Want start business but love sleeping in

(2:15) HAPPINESS ORIGINS
-STORY: Me in Thailand w/ monks. Doing whole life sitting / meditating. Rid of attachments. Other extreme: USA strive / compete / climb corporate ladder - consumer everything. Feels empty.
What is middle path? Are there attachments worth striving for?
1. GET WHAT YOU WANT (i.e. post goal / achievement / hedonism)
2. COMES FROM WITHIN (Buddha / enlighten / exist)
COMES FROM WITHIN, ALSO WITHOUT (middle path! / ARE things worth striving for in life / Strive for the RIGHT attachments)

(4:00) HAPPINESS SET POINT
We adapt to set point
New TV week one is HUGE. Hot tub is HOT. Adapt over time.
EX: 20million or be paralyzed from neck down - who’s happier? (within a year both similar to base line level of happiness w/in 10%)
“Hedonic treadmill” - we don’t just habituate, we recalibrate

(6:15) HAPPINESS FORMULA
H = S+C+V
EX: Plant: Spring back to life if get conditions right. Almost dead - but can be fixed. Same with us.
Happiness = set point + conditions + voluntary actions
Don't worry about what you can'y control (set point). Focus on what we can control (Conditions & Voluntary Actions) and maximize that!

(9:30) LOVE + ATTACHMENTS
2 kinds of love
Compassionate love vs. passionate love
VIDEO HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFzG3...

(11:15) HAPPINESS SUCKERS
NOISE: linked to more stress
COMMUTE TIME: Never adapt or get used to
LACK OF CONTROL: Wellspring of human happiness
SHAME: sucks self worth
RELATIONSHIPS: Need to handle conflict healthy way

(14:10) HAPPINESS BOOSTERS
Strong marriages
physical touch
meaningful relationships
religious affiliation

(16:15) VALUE CONSTRAINTS
Suicide study = less likely the more constraints we have.
Beneficial to have lines (coloring inside lines can be fun)

(18:00) GOAL ATTAINMENT
Pre goal striving vs Post goal striving
Astronaut Syndrome: Whole life working for a goal, go to moon and back, shake president hand.... now what?
We get more pleasure from making progress twoards our goals than we do from achieving them.

(19:20) PURPOSE OF LIFE
QUOTE: “I don’t believe there is an inspiring answer to the question ‘What is the purpose of life?’” he says. “Yet by drawing on ancient wisdom and modern science, we can find compelling answers to the questions of purpose within life. . . . Happiness is not something you can find, acquire or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right, and then wait.” Focus on what you can do - get conditions right, keep improving and striving / accepting more. Certain level can force happiness. Just exists.

(20:00) YOUR FREE TOOLS!
Your free tools: http://www.clarkdanger.com/download/


 L I N K S & S U P P O R T 

BUY THROGH AMAZON AFFILIATE LINK: http://amzn.to/1O3riee
SNAPCHAT: clarkdangerous
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ClarkDangerous
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/ClarkDangerous/
PODCAST: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/d...

MASTER JOURNALING: http://www.mybestjournal.com

Please feel free to email me for any time for any reason: clark@clarkdanger.com
______________________________________
“The Happiness Hypothesis" "The Happiness Hypothesis book summary" "Happiness Hypothesis full audiobook" " Jonathan Haidt Interview" " Jonathan Haidt 2016" " "Jonathan Haidt"

Direct download: 10_Best_Ideas__The_Happiness_Hypothesis__Jonathan_Haidt__Book_Summary.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:20am PDT